Chapter 11

Isolation_Mode

Discerning Marriage?

Discerning marriage in the Catholic Church involves prayerfully considering if God is calling you to the vocation of marriage with a specific person, focusing on whether the relationship helps you grow in holiness and virtue. It’s a process of self-knowledge, mutual understanding, and recognizing the other person as a gift from God. Dating with the intention of discerning marriage is important, rather than just dating for experience. Here are some resources that may be helpful as you discern whether God is calling you down this sacred path!

Resources for Discerning Marriage

  • Dating and Engaged: A wonderful webpage from USCCB’s For Your Marriage hub with reliable advice on marriage prep, guidance on dating, tips for wedding planning, and more.
  • The Dating Project: 50% of America is single. The way people seek and find love has radically changed. The trends of hanging out, hooking up, texting and social media have created a dating deficit. Dating is now considered…outdated. Follow 5 single people, ages 18 to 40, as they navigate this new landscape.
  • Life-Giving Wounds: The mission of Life-Giving Wounds is to help young adults & adults with divorced & separated parents give voice to the pain & find transformative healing in Christ. This journey of healing can be very helpful during the process of discerning marriage.
  • The Dating Blueprint: A guidebook on dating for men from Catholic speaker and evangelist, Jason Evert.
  • Next Step: An exciting new initiative of the Theology of the Body Institute for people discerning marriage. Based on Pope St. John Paul II’s ideas for proximate preparation for marriage, Next Step walks seriously dating couples through topics that JPII highlights as important for people who think they want to get married but aren’t yet engaged.
  • Discerning Marriage: A podcast about marriage discernment with Elizabeth Busby, MTS, LMFT
  • Couples who are discerning marriage, even if not formally engaged, are welcome to attend our Celebrating Your Love Day, which has a strong focus on discerning the vocation to marriage.
  • Humanum Series from Ecce Films: A series of documentary films and shorts originally commissioned by the Vatican on human love, marriage, and sexuality.

Contact Information

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  • Associate Director: Janelle Peregoy
  • Associate Director: Wendy Baez
  • Administrative Assistant: Angie Rosario

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About the Coat of Arms

Bishop Pulido’s coat of arms is divided into four quarters with wavy horizontal lines from top to bottom. The blue and white lines represent the Blessed Virgin Mary. They also suggest water, which alludes to Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and to the waters of baptism. The red and gold lines represent the Holy Spirit and fire. The colors also can be seen as referring to the Blood that (along with water) poured from Jesus’ side at His crucifixion, as well as to the bread (gold) and wine (red) transformed into the Eucharist. At the center is a roundel featuring a symbolic representation of the “mandatum” (washing of the feet), which he believes exemplifies service to all humanity. The roundel’s outer edge is a line composed of small humps; it is borrowed from the coat of arms of the Diocese of Yakima, where Bishop Pulido served as a priest before being named a bishop.

About the Coat of Arms

Bishop Pham’s coat of arms depicts a red boat on a blue ocean, which is crisscrossed by diagonal lines suggesting a fisherman’s net. This symbolizes his ministry as a “fisher of men,” as well as how his own father had been a fisherman. The boat is also a symbol of the Church, which is often referred to as the “barque of Peter.” At the center of the sail is a red beehive (a symbol of the bishop’s baptismal patron saint, St. John Chrysostom, who was known as a “honey-tongued” preacher). The beehive is surrounded by two green palm branches (an ancient symbol of martyrdom; the bishop’s ancestors were among Vietnam’s first martyrs). The eight red tongues of fire around the boat are a symbol of the Holy Spirit and a representation of the diversity of ethnic and cultural communities. The red of the boat, the beehive and the tongues of fire allude to the blood of the martyrs.

About the Coat of Arms

The coat of arms combines symbols that reflect Bishop Bejarano’s spiritual life and priestly ministry. The main part of the shield shows four wavy vertical lines on a gold background. These represent flowing waters. This alludes to his chosen motto and also symbolizes the graces that come from the Divine life to quench our thirst for God. The upper third of the shield is red because it is borrowed from the coat of arms of the Order of Mercy, of which the Bishop’s patron saint, Raymond Nonnatus, was a member. The central symbol resembles a monstrance because St. Raymond is often depicted holding one. The Eucharist is Bishop Bejarano’s inspiration for his vocation. It was through the Eucharist that he received his call to the priesthood at age seven and which keeps his faith and his ministry going. It represents the call to offer oneself as a living sacrifice. The monstrance is flanked on either side by an image of the Sacred Heart, alluding to the mercy of God and echoing the idea of a sacrificial offering of oneself united to the sacrifice of Christ, and of a rose for Our Lady. It is an allusion to Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, and highlights the bishop’s Hispanic heritage.

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