Chapter 11

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Marriage Preparation

Congratulations on Your Engagement!

We’re so glad that you’ve chosen to marry in the Catholic Church. It is a cause for great joy! We are privileged to accompany you on the Journey of Your Love, and honored that you have entrusted us with equipping you to traverse both the joys and the inevitable challenges that married life brings. As you encounter Christ’s love in your relationship with each other, your marriage will be nourished and transformed by His grace.

May God continue blessing you in this process of growing in closer and deeper relationship with God through Christ and with each other. With families and friends around you, may they be your source of support and encouragement for you. And may our Blessed Mother Mary be part of your journey in your life of marriage and family.

You remain in our prayers,

Most Reverend Michael Pham

Marriage Preparation Process

English Brochure
Folleto En Español
The image shows the phrase "Journey of Your Love" in gold text next to a red heart with two white doves and a black cross in the center.

Pray

We invite you to pray together as you begin, and all throughout this once-in-a-lifetime period of your relationship. You’re no longer dating, but you’re not yet married. Pray in thanksgiving for this special time, and savor it! This will help you to keep God at the center of your marriage, and allow Him plenty of opportunities to pour His love into your relationship. Ask your loved ones (both in Heaven and on earth!) to pray for you, too.

 

St. Valentine, St. Agnes, St. Joseph and St. Mary, pray for us!

1. Meet With Your Marriage Formation Minister

As soon as you are ready to begin formally preparing for marriage, and before setting a date, call your parish to schedule a meeting with your marriage formation minister (typically your priest or deacon), who may also serve as the celebrant for your wedding.

2. Take and Review the Pre-Marriage Inventory
The pre-marriage inventory (typically FOCCUS) is meant to facilitate communication and conflict resolution skills before marriage. Your parish/formation minister will provide directions for completing the questionnaire and will schedule a meeting with you to begin reviewing the results.
More information about FOCCUS
3. Choose Your Marriage Godparents

This is a couple who can support, encourage, and pray for you throughout—and beyond—the marriage prep process. We encourage couples to choose based on the following guidelines:

  • They are married in the Church for at least a few years.
  • They are practicing Catholics (if interfaith/ecumenical, this would only apply to the Catholic party).
  • They have a marriage you admire and can relate to.
  • They attend the parish where you are preparing for marriage, or at least live close enough to get together in-person and on a regular basis.
4. Register for one or more Marriage Prep Retreats

The decision about which program(s) to attend should be made in consultation with your priest/marriage formation minister. Options include:

  • Celebrating Your (CYL) Diocesan Day: For engaged and civilly married couples. A one-day retreat held on Saturdays at locations throughout the Diocese. Explores Catholic teaching on marriage and provides an overview of practical and valuable skills for marriage. Visit sdcatholic.org/cyl for dates and registration.
  • Engaged Encounter Weekend: A weekend marriage prep experience starting on Friday evening and concluding late Sunday afternoon with the celebration of Mass. Provides time for couples to dialogue honestly and intensively about their future lives together. Register at sandiego.engagedencounter.com.
  • Marriage Encounter Weekend: Similar to Engaged Encounter, but for couples already married civilly for at least a few years. Register at wwme-sandiego.org.
  • New Beginning: For couples entering a second marriage after the divorce or death of a former spouse (only one party needs to have been previously married). For dates and registration, visit sdcatholic.org/cyl.
Register for Celebrating Your Love Day
Register for Engaged Encounter

Entering the Marriage Catechumenate

Once couples have met with their priest or deacon, taken and reviewed the pre-marriage inventory, and chosen their Marriage Godparents, they are generally ready to enter the Marriage Catechumenate. A rite of entry into the Marriage Catechumenate can mark the beginning of this new stage, giving engaged couples the chance to publicly declare their intention to commit to this journey of marriage preparation.

 

During the Marriage Catechumenate, couples are encouraged to visit regularly with their Marriage Godparents, attend Mass together and engage in prayerful reflection and dialogue. They will also attend the marriage prep programs that they registered for. Many parishes offer Witness to Love as part of the marriage formation process to help engaged couples and their Marriage Godparents create meaningful and formative conversations and experiences during their time together.  

 

Engaged couples can also purchase their own materials and begin the process by visiting witnesstolove.org/begin-hybrid-experience. 

Questions & Answers

Where should we prepare for marriage?

The marriage prep process should take place at the engaged couple’s home parish, even if the wedding is taking place elsewhere.

 

When should we begin marriage prep?

We recommend starting the process at least 9-12 months before the proposed wedding date in order to take full advantage of the incredible resources (see above) available to you!

 

Do both bride and groom need to be Catholic?
As long as either the bride or the groom is a baptized Catholic, then the couple can marry in the Church.

 

For more detailed responses to the questions above, please download the following marriage prep guidelines:

As couples get closer to the big day, they will spend more time focusing on preparing for the wedding celebration itself. Click here for more information on planning your wedding in the Diocese of San Diego.

Contact Information

Staff

  • Director: John Prust
  • Associate Director: Janelle Peregoy
  • Associate Director: Wendy Baez
  • Administrative Assistant: Angie Rosario

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About the Coat of Arms

Bishop Pulido’s coat of arms is divided into four quarters with wavy horizontal lines from top to bottom. The blue and white lines represent the Blessed Virgin Mary. They also suggest water, which alludes to Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and to the waters of baptism. The red and gold lines represent the Holy Spirit and fire. The colors also can be seen as referring to the Blood that (along with water) poured from Jesus’ side at His crucifixion, as well as to the bread (gold) and wine (red) transformed into the Eucharist. At the center is a roundel featuring a symbolic representation of the “mandatum” (washing of the feet), which he believes exemplifies service to all humanity. The roundel’s outer edge is a line composed of small humps; it is borrowed from the coat of arms of the Diocese of Yakima, where Bishop Pulido served as a priest before being named a bishop.

About the Coat of Arms

Bishop Pham’s coat of arms depicts a red boat on a blue ocean, which is crisscrossed by diagonal lines suggesting a fisherman’s net. This symbolizes his ministry as a “fisher of men,” as well as how his own father had been a fisherman. The boat is also a symbol of the Church, which is often referred to as the “barque of Peter.” At the center of the sail is a red beehive (a symbol of the bishop’s baptismal patron saint, St. John Chrysostom, who was known as a “honey-tongued” preacher). The beehive is surrounded by two green palm branches (an ancient symbol of martyrdom; the bishop’s ancestors were among Vietnam’s first martyrs). The eight red tongues of fire around the boat are a symbol of the Holy Spirit and a representation of the diversity of ethnic and cultural communities. The red of the boat, the beehive and the tongues of fire allude to the blood of the martyrs.

About the Coat of Arms

The coat of arms combines symbols that reflect Bishop Bejarano’s spiritual life and priestly ministry. The main part of the shield shows four wavy vertical lines on a gold background. These represent flowing waters. This alludes to his chosen motto and also symbolizes the graces that come from the Divine life to quench our thirst for God. The upper third of the shield is red because it is borrowed from the coat of arms of the Order of Mercy, of which the Bishop’s patron saint, Raymond Nonnatus, was a member. The central symbol resembles a monstrance because St. Raymond is often depicted holding one. The Eucharist is Bishop Bejarano’s inspiration for his vocation. It was through the Eucharist that he received his call to the priesthood at age seven and which keeps his faith and his ministry going. It represents the call to offer oneself as a living sacrifice. The monstrance is flanked on either side by an image of the Sacred Heart, alluding to the mercy of God and echoing the idea of a sacrificial offering of oneself united to the sacrifice of Christ, and of a rose for Our Lady. It is an allusion to Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, and highlights the bishop’s Hispanic heritage.

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