Chapter 11

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Marriage Formation

Congratulations on your engagement!

We’re so glad that you’ve chosen to marry in the Catholic Church. We are privileged to accompany you on the Journey of Your Love, and honored that you have entrusted us with equipping you to traverse both the joys and the inevitable challenges that married life brings. Our great joy, above all, is to assist you in encountering Christ’s love and its power to nourish and transform relationships.

May the Holy Spirit guide and direct you on this journey of love for each other, for your families, and for your extended family of faith, the Church. May this process of marriage preparation be one of enrichment, formation, and growth in faith, hope, and love.

Bishop Michael Pham

Marriage Formation Process

English Brochure
Folleto En Español
The image shows the phrase "Journey of Your Love" in gold text next to a red heart with two white doves and a black cross in the center.

Pray!

We invite you to pray together as you begin, and all throughout this once-in-a-lifetime period of your relationship. You’re no longer dating, but you’re not yet married. Pray in thanksgiving for this special time, and savor it! This will help you to keep God at the center of your marriage, and allow Him plenty of opportunities to pour His love into your relationship. Ask your loved ones (both in Heaven and on earth!) to pray for you, too.

St. Valentine, St. Agnes, St. Joseph and St. Mary, pray for us!

1.

Meet With Your Marriage Formation Minister

As soon as you are ready to begin formally preparing for marriage, and before setting a date, call your parish to schedule a meeting with your marriage formation minister (typically your priest or deacon), who may also serve as the celebrant for your wedding.

2.

Take the FOCCUS Inventory

The pre-marriage inventory is a wonderful tool intended to help couples become more aware of their strengths and growth areas, or perhaps even areas they haven’t talked about yet. Your parish/formation minister will provide directions for completing the questionnaire. Couples will meet (typically at least twice) with their marriage prep minister, or an assisting coach couple, to review the results. FOCCUS is the pre-marital inventory that it typically used in our diocese.

3.

Choose A Mentor Couple

Couples will choose a mentor couple/Marriage Godparents who can support them, encourage them, and pray for them throughout the marriage formation process. Marriage formation ministers can help engaged couples discern their choice of a mentor couple. At minimum, the “marriage godparents” should be married in the Church and practice their faith, but most  importantly have a marriage that the engaged couple admires and sees as a source of ongoing formation. Witness to Love is the recommended process for guiding the marriage catechumenal journey.

 

4.

Participate in one or more of the following Marriage Formation Programs/ Retreats:

Celebrating Your Love (CYL) Day A one-day retreat held on Saturdays at locations throughout the Diocese. Explores Catholic teaching on marriage and provides an overview of practical and valuable skills for marriage. Go to sdcatholic.org/cyl for dates and registration.

Catholic Engaged Encounter This inspirational weekend retreat provides engaged couples valuable space and time to explore the depth of marriage. Married teams, partnered with a priest, guide couples on a journey of preparation for their upcoming sacrament. Through personal sharing and Catholic theology, the weekend challenges couples.

Go to sandiego.engagedencounter.com for dates and registration. For Spanish, visit enoviossandiego.com

A New Beginning For couples entering a second marriage after the divorce or death of a former spouse (only one party needs to have been previously married). Topics of discussion are geared towards blended families, children of a previous marriage and grieving loss.


For retreat dates and locations, visit sdcatholic.org/cyl

Worldwide Marriage Encounter Similar to Engaged Encounter, but for couples who have already been civilly married for more than a few years. Go to wwme-sandiego.org for dates and registration.

Parish-Based Program Parishes may offer local and applicable parish-based formation programming for couples. Check with your marriage formation minister.

Celebrating Your Love Registration

5.

Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Go to Confession!)

Know that Jesus loves you and cannot wait to share God’s mercy through this beautiful sacrament of Reconciliation. Go together – make it a date. If you attend the Catholic Engaged Encounter Retreat or Celebrating Your Love Day, there will also be an opportunity for confession then.

6.

Wedding Plan

This can be done simultaneously with your marriage prep, but shouldn’t be the forefront of your engagement – JESUS should be! Remember to pray along the way. God will open doors for you with venues and vendors, etc. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut (it’s likely the Holy Spirit stirring inside you!!).

Bonus-Faith Filled Ideas!

Looking for ways to include intentional Catholic choices into your wedding planning? Look no further! Below is a compilation of things we did to make our weddings extra special, as well as things we WISH we had known about when we were in your shoes. Enjoy!

 

Have a Rite of Welcoming – Ask your priest if you can be introduced to the parish community during a Sunday Mass to formalize the beginning of your marriage catechumenate journey.

 

Pray a novena – During the 9 days leading up to your wedding, pray a novena together. The final days before your wedding don’t have to be stressful! Give it to Jesus and He will carry you.

 

Incorporate your faith in your invitations – Include a favorite wedding bible or saint quote and/or sacred symbols – the possibilities are endless!

 

Flowers to Mary – Honor our Blessed Mother with a single bloom or small bouquet offering during your wedding ceremony. This is traditionally done after Communion while “Ave Maria” is sung by your cantor or choir. Use this time to ask the intercession and example of the ONLY perfect woman there ever was!

 

Holy Home Decor – Consider adding beautiful religious items to your wedding registry such as statues, sacred art, rosaries, prayer candles, holy water fonts, etc.

 

(Credit to Maria from Our Lady’s Roses for these suggestions!)

Contact Information

Staff

  • Director: John Prust
  • Associate Director: Janelle Peregoy
  • Associate Director: Wendy Baez

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Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego

About the Coat of Arms

Bishop Pulido’s coat of arms is divided into four quarters with wavy horizontal lines from top to bottom. The blue and white lines represent the Blessed Virgin Mary. They also suggest water, which alludes to Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and to the waters of baptism. The red and gold lines represent the Holy Spirit and fire. The colors also can be seen as referring to the Blood that (along with water) poured from Jesus’ side at His crucifixion, as well as to the bread (gold) and wine (red) transformed into the Eucharist. At the center is a roundel featuring a symbolic representation of the “mandatum” (washing of the feet), which he believes exemplifies service to all humanity. The roundel’s outer edge is a line composed of small humps; it is borrowed from the coat of arms of the Diocese of Yakima, where Bishop Pulido served as a priest before being named a bishop.

About the Coat of Arms

Bishop Pham’s coat of arms depicts a red boat on a blue ocean, which is crisscrossed by diagonal lines suggesting a fisherman’s net. This symbolizes his ministry as a “fisher of men,” as well as how his own father had been a fisherman. The boat is also a symbol of the Church, which is often referred to as the “barque of Peter.” At the center of the sail is a red beehive (a symbol of the bishop’s baptismal patron saint, St. John Chrysostom, who was known as a “honey-tongued” preacher). The beehive is surrounded by two green palm branches (an ancient symbol of martyrdom; the bishop’s ancestors were among Vietnam’s first martyrs). The eight red tongues of fire around the boat are a symbol of the Holy Spirit and a representation of the diversity of ethnic and cultural communities. The red of the boat, the beehive and the tongues of fire allude to the blood of the martyrs.

About the Coat of Arms

The coat of arms combines symbols that reflect Bishop Bejarano’s spiritual life and priestly ministry. The main part of the shield shows four wavy vertical lines on a gold background. These represent flowing waters. This alludes to his chosen motto and also symbolizes the graces that come from the Divine life to quench our thirst for God. The upper third of the shield is red because it is borrowed from the coat of arms of the Order of Mercy, of which the Bishop’s patron saint, Raymond Nonnatus, was a member. The central symbol resembles a monstrance because St. Raymond is often depicted holding one. The Eucharist is Bishop Bejarano’s inspiration for his vocation. It was through the Eucharist that he received his call to the priesthood at age seven and which keeps his faith and his ministry going. It represents the call to offer oneself as a living sacrifice. The monstrance is flanked on either side by an image of the Sacred Heart, alluding to the mercy of God and echoing the idea of a sacrificial offering of oneself united to the sacrifice of Christ, and of a rose for Our Lady. It is an allusion to Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the Americas, and highlights the bishop’s Hispanic heritage.

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