Congratulations on your engagement!
We’re so glad that you’ve chosen to marry in the Catholic Church. We are privileged to accompany you on the Journey of Your Love, and honored that you have entrusted us with equipping you to traverse both the joys and the inevitable challenges that married life brings. Our great joy, above all, is to assist you in encountering Christ’s love and its power to nourish and transform relationships.
May the Holy Spirit guide and direct you on this journey of love for each other, for your families, and for your extended family of faith, the Church. May this process of marriage preparation be one of enrichment, formation, and growth in faith, hope, and love.
Bishop Michael Pham
Diocesan Administrator
Marriage Formation Process

Pray!
We invite you to pray together as you begin, and all throughout this once-in-a-lifetime period of your relationship. You’re no longer dating, but you’re not yet married. Pray in thanksgiving for this special time, and savor it! This will help you to keep God at the center of your marriage, and allow Him plenty of opportunities to pour His love into your relationship. Ask your loved ones (both in Heaven and on earth!) to pray for you, too.
St. Valentine, St. Agnes, St. Joseph and St. Mary, pray for us!
1.
Meet With Your Marriage Formation Minister
1.
Meet With Your Marriage Formation Minister
As soon as you are ready to begin formally preparing for marriage, and before setting a date, call your parish to schedule a meeting with your marriage formation minister (typically your priest or deacon), who may also serve as the celebrant for your wedding.
2.
Take the FOCCUS Inventory
2.
Take the FOCCUS Inventory
The pre-marriage inventory is a wonderful tool intended to help couples become more aware of their strengths and growth areas, or perhaps even areas they haven’t talked about yet. Your parish/formation minister will provide directions for completing the questionnaire. Couples will meet (typically at least twice) with their marriage prep minister, or an assisting coach couple, to review the results. FOCCUS is the pre-marital inventory that it typically used in our diocese.
3.
Choose A Mentor Couple
3.
Choose A Mentor Couple
Couples will choose a mentor couple/Marriage Godparents who can support them, encourage them, and pray for them throughout the marriage formation process. Marriage formation ministers can help engaged couples discern their choice of a mentor couple. At minimum, the “marriage godparents” should be married in the Church and practice their faith, but most importantly have a marriage that the engaged couple admires and sees as a source of ongoing formation. Witness to Love is the recommended process for guiding the marriage catechumenal journey.
4.
Participate in one or more of the following Marriage Formation Programs/ Retreats:
4.
Participate in one or more of the following Marriage Formation Programs/ Retreats:
Celebrating Your Love (CYL) Day A one-day retreat held on Saturdays at locations throughout the Diocese. Explores Catholic teaching on marriage and provides an overview of practical and valuable skills for marriage. Go to sdcatholic.org/cyl for dates and registration.
Catholic Engaged Encounter This inspirational weekend retreat provides engaged couples valuable space and time to explore the depth of marriage. Married teams, partnered with a priest, guide couples on a journey of preparation for their upcoming sacrament. Through personal sharing and Catholic theology, the weekend challenges couples.
Go to sandiego.engagedencounter.com for dates and registration. For Spanish, visit enoviossandiego.com
A New Beginning For couples entering a second marriage after the divorce or death of a former spouse (only one party needs to have been previously married). Topics of discussion are geared towards blended families, children of a previous marriage and grieving loss.
For retreat dates and locations, visit sdcatholic.org/cyl
Worldwide Marriage Encounter Similar to Engaged Encounter, but for couples who have already been civilly married for more than a few years. Go to wwme-sandiego.org for dates and registration.
Parish-Based Program Parishes may offer local and applicable parish-based formation programming for couples. Check with your marriage formation minister.
5.
Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Go to Confession!)
5.
Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Go to Confession!)
6.
Wedding Plan
6.
Wedding Plan
Bonus-Faith Filled Ideas!
Looking for ways to include intentional Catholic choices into your wedding planning? Look no further! Below is a compilation of things we did to make our weddings extra special, as well as things we WISH we had known about when we were in your shoes. Enjoy!
Have a Rite of Welcoming – Ask your priest if you can be introduced to the parish community during a Sunday Mass to formalize the beginning of your marriage catechumenate journey.
Pray a novena – During the 9 days leading up to your wedding, pray a novena together. The final days before your wedding don’t have to be stressful! Give it to Jesus and He will carry you.
Incorporate your faith in your invitations – Include a favorite wedding bible or saint quote and/or sacred symbols – the possibilities are endless!
Flowers to Mary – Honor our Blessed Mother with a single bloom or small bouquet offering during your wedding ceremony. This is traditionally done after Communion while “Ave Maria” is sung by your cantor or choir. Use this time to ask the intercession and example of the ONLY perfect woman there ever was!
Holy Home Decor – Consider adding beautiful religious items to your wedding registry such as statues, sacred art, rosaries, prayer candles, holy water fonts, etc.
(Credit to Maria from Our Lady’s Roses for these suggestions!)
Contact Information
Staff
- Director: John Prust
- Associate Director: Janelle Peregoy
- Associate Director: Wendy Baez